Thursday, February 09, 2006

The DMV Experience

Thoughts while standing in line at the DMV...

I think it's time I write a lil' sump, sump for my blog.

What's that smell?!

I really need a camera phone. I just saw a condensed version of your local Wal-Mart crowd within a span of five seconds: single mother with four kids, all under the age of five, hanging all over her as she tries to get her paper work together, 50's throwback dad with modern goth son, old biker on crutches with his biker babe, who's weighing in at 200+ and has both arms COMPLETELY tatooed, Mexican immigrants who can't speak a lick of English when attempting to talk to them yet have the speaking skills to get a driver's license (can't wait til I get in an accident with one of them as they abandon their vehicle and leave me injured and carless).

How is it possible that the DMV, notorious for long wait times, is so understaffed? Is it too hard for the government to take a guy holding a shovel and place him in front of one of the four empty computers at the DMV?! Maybe they shouldn't make DMV employee training so tough since it's right up there with military boot camp and quantum physics exams. Call number, ask for paper work, process paper work ( i.e. hand paper work to co-worker), call number... And why don't they allow food and drinks in the DMV? They know people are going to be there a long time, people that go there know they're going to be there for a long time - let people take their dinners in there! I guess I kind of understand their logic. If people are allowed food and drink then the DMV would have to hire a janitor, which would then imply that they actually want a clean facility.

When can we remove the blindfold and welcome the DMV to the 21st century? They STILL don't accept credit cards. Cash will have to be non-existent for them to even consider implementing credit card accepting technology. It appears that the DMV is, in fact, attempting to turn back the hands of time. I found out that I have to wait three to four weeks to get my license since they don't produce them at the DMV office any more. Guess they don't want to complicate the highly efficient three-step process they currently have in place by adding two more processes.

I did figure out why most people look like thugs in their license photo. The whole waiting process wears people down and draws the angst out of the most upbeat of people. It also causes premature aging as noted by the lady carrying her oxygen. I'm sure she was in her mid-forties, but looked 80 since I know the DMV wouldn't issue a driver's license to someone who would bring traffic to a halt whenever they get behind the wheel. In fact, the only people who do look like they have life in them are first time licensees.

I suppose I could be less pessimistic and be thankful I only had to renew my license, stand behind five other people and have to wait only 40 minutes before I reached the counter. After all, one poor soul who lost his license was there for 2.5 hours.